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mojo's blog...stardate 23.9, rounded off to the nearest decimal point...

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21st February 2018

12:03pm: happy belated new year

i'll just put this here...

i used to say that nissan should have a deal with ericsson, where you get a matching phone with one of their cars. it could be the leaf ericsson

22nd August 2017

1:08pm: moths are idiots
these moths flew into my car at the job site and wouldn't fly out. i guess they went in because the dome light. anyway, i tried to let them out at various points, but they refused to leave. they did this bit where they would sit on the driver's side window, begging to get out, and then when i would open the window they would just fly back into the car

4 hours of driving later, i saw one on the passenger window. i was stopped, so i opened the window. it went outside, but clung to the car. when my light turned green, i drove off. i watched as it clung to the car until around 40 mph. i dunno what happened to it after that

at any rate, i doubt they'll catch up with their friends and family now. idiots

11th November 2016

4:47pm: saw a girl that looked just like you today
ok, not JUST like you. but she looked like you in one of those pictures where you didn't quite look like yourself. i smiled at her, but then that's about how far that went. that's how far it always goes

5th September 2016

3:21pm: i still think of you every day
i don't know why. actually, i do know why. we were together for 10 yrs. and i always thought we were supposed to be together. i am actually not sure why were are not. it doesn't seem right.

27th March 2016

12:50pm: i saw another girl that reminded me of you
this one didn't have the profound effect on me that the last one did. but still, i found myself trying to steal glances of her. i saw her at target, which of course was a place you and i would go shopping sometimes. i wonder if this had something to do with it.

her face was about the same shape as yours. her body...i kept trying to see it. i kept trying to imagine it being like yours. i don't think i saw it. funny thing is that she was wearing uggs. that's definitely something you wouldn't do. her mannerisms were not the same as yours. this one definitely was not like you.

but still she reminded me of you. i wonder at this point if it's just wishful thinking

22nd March 2016

8:11pm: i remember one time when we first started dating...
that, because you were so young, your father asked me if i would be the "voice of reason" and send you home at certain times. i don't remember the exact context, but i guess you were out with me longer than he deemed necessary. of course, i did understand his concern as a parent...but i ended up telling him that i didn't wish to do this

this wasn't out of defiance or any disrespect. this was just because you and i were dating, and i didn't want to be any sort of authority figure over you. i also didn't want to seem like a "stick in the mud" or whatever thing might be a drag on our relationship

eventually, he did see how much i cared for you. or at least i got the impression at times that your parents figured i was safer with you than some alternatives. he seemed to give me an amount of respect later. maybe he figured out everything i just said and didn't take it personally

i just remember wanting so badly to be with you that i would do anything to make it happen. i was living a dream come true, and i didn't want it to end. that's not to say it didn't have its tension or anything like that. it definitely was tense.

now i try to remember how i felt then. i know one cannot go back and relive such things. and, knowing what i know now, i do know that i was deceived in ways. but like a drug, it has an allure. the dream...the wanting it to be true. the wanting it to be real

it became a 9 year pursuit to get you to feel the same way. and when you didn't, well...here we are

but still, there was that. how i felt then.

15th February 2016

1:54pm: the other day, i saw a girl that reminded me of you
it was about 2 weeks ago. i was out shopping with my brother and my mom. we were at the 99 only store, going up and down the aisles. it was like many other times, and otherwise uneventful

but then there she was. as soon as i saw her, i felt like i did when we first met. her hair was about the same as yours - slightly curly. it was lighter than yours, tho. but her demeanor was the same. her facial expression was the same, and her body was the same type as yours. she did not look exactly like you, but close enough

of course, i am talking about when we first met. before everything had a chance to go bad. but when was it really ever good? it was good for you, in that i always gave you a lot of attention. but as far as it being mutual, it didn't get that far. but with this girl...it stirred up those old emotions. the ones that made me want to believe it could go better at some point.

she was very young. but i never was a good judge of age. and she didn't really look my way at all. again, neither did you until much later.

it made me wonder how things could have been different. what if there was another chance? no, not with this girl - that would be weird. but overall. what if there was a way that you and i could be together again? how would that go? would it be more of a mutual relationship?

it seems like so long ago that we first met at that donut shop in south philly. it was like a lifetime ago. i wanted everything so much. i couldn't remember another time i wanted something so badly.

so now i have to live knowing that this girl is out there somewhere. or is she? maybe it was a spectre, sent to remind me of how my life is now. i don't think i've gone a day without thinking of you at some point. we were together for almost 10 years, and altho it went bad at the end, we had a lot of good times. you were truly the love of my life

21st August 2015

2:26pm: while at a bunny petting excursion at kahoots...
one of the rabbits was really timid, and kept hopping away before you could pet him

i decided that it was like the saying, "hare on the side of caution"

21st May 2015

7:18pm: i guess i have a great responsibility
5:13pm: to get myself to do something i have been putting off
apparently i just gotta think of something i need to do that i want to do even less

for example - i should be packing for a trip. but i went to pull weeds

18th March 2015

3:33am: my boxer briefs don't last as long as my boxers
i guess that's why they're "briefs"

30th September 2014

12:56pm: but...i drive a mustang
last night i got home from work and found this offer for an "upgrade" to my vehicle. according to the targeted marketing card, i could trade in my card toward a prius or rav4.

i think they have a very different idea about these cars than i do in order to call them an "upgrade"

2014-09-30 01.30.23

1st April 2014

7:24pm: happy bday to me, and april fools'!
yes, it's really my birthday. it was an interesting day in all, but i won't get into that.

i did, however, get a job interview set up for tomorrow. today she called me and did a phone screening. the she asked if i could come in for a face-to-face interview tomorrow. w00t! so after she scheduled it out, about an hour and a half later she cancelled it.

obviously an april fools' day joke. she got me!

11th March 2014

3:30pm: someone said he was "beyond help"
what i get from that is that he works at bed, bath, and beyond and that he is in charge of the "beyond" section

10th February 2014

2:33pm: georgia claims state of emergency

all the food they eat is fried food. if that's not a state of emergency, i dunno what is!

7th February 2014

11:53am: btw happy new year!
new year, new home, new girlfriend...
11:52am: taliban claims to have captured military canine

i got a visual of "military intelligence" being the ability to find numerous fire hydrants

26th October 2013

3:24pm: everyone claims to be weird
i guess that's normal

8th October 2013

11:44pm: spam subject: help your child with ADHD
me: why would i want to give my child ADHD?

2nd September 2013

1:36am: public marriage proposal gone bad

maybe she was saying she doesn't like his head
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